I don’t have much to offer. There isn’t a lot of money in my bank account. My talents and abilities aren’t going to change the world. I’ve often let my friends down and my husband will say I nag him. I always have laundry to do and my house is never clean. I let being an extrovert prevent me from finishing my writing projects. I’m lonely some days – especially without Richard. I constantly give into the voice that says, “You are not good enough to do this.” The nights are numerous when I lay in bed unable to sleep because self-deprecating thoughts swirl inside my head and I can’t shut them off.
Many times I have felt unworthy writing on the subject of joy because my life lacks joy. Honestly, I’d hardly be the poster girl for it. And I admit there are times when I write encouraging words to you simply because I need to speak encouragement into my life.
Today I need to know that I’m making a difference – that my life counts for something and means something. I’d like to say that God is adequate in me, but don’t you find there are some days when that promise seems to fall flat? When you need more than words because, well, “Everyone else seems to have it all together – what’s wrong with me?”
So the only thing left for me to do is open God’s love letter to me and find a verse that speaks into my inadequacies. When I delve into His words, I feel Him so close. When I desperately need Jesus, only His message breaks through.
One of my favorites is Philippians 1:8, “He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
God is still working on me! How amazing is that? Even when I feel like I’ve lost my purpose, I know I possess the creativity and potential to do amazing things for Him. I have to wipe away the “I can’t” and “I’m not” thoughts because I know deep inside of me God has given me all I need to fulfill what He calls me to do. He isn’t always looking for a person who has their act together.
Because I suspect that you’re just like me. We think everyone else can do it all. That thought only immobilizes us from doing what we can do – what God calls us to do.
The truth is no one can do it all. But we can remember God loves us so deeply that He is constantly working on us. And our job becomes being patient and loving with ourselves as we cooperate with the process.
So today, I’m praying that God will show me how to stay fixed on His love. To let go of the lie that everyone’s life is better than mine. And with my prayers come the request that He will show me how I can be happier.
For I find my joy only when I whisper my thank you to God and choose to see the blessings intertwined throughout my day.