On a scale of one to ten, this nightmare rated a fifteen. Overcome by outlandish fear, I jumped out of bed at 2:45AM. My chest heaved because my lungs couldn’t suck in air fast enough. My skin burnt as though it had been seared and my head pounded in rhythm with the jackhammer that was pulverizing it. The intense terror beating in my heart chilled as if, before I was dead, I had viewed my grave from the inside out.
This season in my life has been a growing period, and growth brings with it certain pressures. In my heart, I know there are areas I need to change, but somehow lack the resolve. There are also tons of good habits I need to start. When the futility of attacking these areas with my own strength sets in, that’s when the nightmares begin.
Thank goodness for God’s love letter to us. 2 Corinthians 1:5 states, “For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also is our comfort abundant in Christ.” Comfort, that’s precisely what I needed! And it astonished me how easy God made it for me. After all, 2:45AM isn’t the time to be calling up caring friends. My limited choices compelled me into finding respite in Him, my Savior.
In those early morning “I’m afraid” sessions we all have, I’ve conditioned myself not to drink the poison of rejection, doubt and fear. If left untreated, they will only permeate and destroy.
Instead I embrace the hope that can only be found in Jesus Christ. No matter how uncertain life is, God is still God. He is always sovereign. And though I don’t often understand His ways, I trust Him.
Not just for my salvation, but for those times when I’m tempted to believe my doubts, for the times when Satan’s lies attack my heart and my mind. He is the master deceiver and his lies are often so appealing that we believe them rather than trusting God.
During my disturbed night, I trace my heritage. I’m a princess; I am the daughter of the Most High God. And as I lay back down to sleep, He whispers softly, gently into my ear, “I am crafting a story in You that You have yet to grasp. It will highlight your uniqueness; reveal the strengths you don’t even know you have. Your story will reflect who you really are and your purpose. There will be no stopping you for I now live in you. I’ve got bigger plans for you than you can even imagine.”
“Now come,” He gently sighs, “snuggle deeply into my soothing arms.”
What does God whisper to you during the times you are afraid?