{"id":1125,"date":"2014-09-19T12:18:08","date_gmt":"2014-09-19T19:18:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/myrawells.com\/?p=1125"},"modified":"2014-10-15T16:33:35","modified_gmt":"2014-10-15T23:33:35","slug":"my-apologies","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/myrawells.com\/wp\/?p=1125","title":{"rendered":"My Apologies"},"content":{"rendered":"

As Christians, we often talk about the broken world. Since the 4th<\/sup> of July, I\u2019ve personally experienced this when my body broke down. For a few days, I thought I\u2019d caught a common cold until the symptoms were no longer common and eventually drove me to seek medical help. As the doctor patiently explained how sick I was, she also brought the good news that I\u2019d be feeling better soon.<\/p>\n

\"naturepath\"<\/a>Obviously her definition of soon and mine aren\u2019t the same because here it is almost eight weeks later and I\u2019m still ill. Getting better, for sure, but still reeling from the fatigue, from being numb to the world, shut in from enjoying things I love and trying to understand why this illness caught me.<\/p>\n

There were nights I prayed to God mostly to reach out and grab hold of Someone who could heal. In the darkness, I\u2019d question Him. \u201cWhy?\u201d I\u2019d cry out struggling sometimes to breathe through the coughing, focusing solely on myself and my needs.<\/p>\n

Despite my self-absorption, God was always there. I\u2019d feel the warmth of His love in those moments of despair. In the middle of my doubts, His love covered me, even when the voice inside told me I will never be well again, during the times I tried to reason away His love, He was still there.<\/p>\n

There were times when I didn\u2019t like the person I was during this illness. They balanced out the times when I liked myself more \u2013 when I was more patient, more empathetic, more thankful for the health of earlier times. But in the illness, I learned you have to keep running to your Maker. Even when I was afraid for my life, that there was only this illness and very little else, God was with me whenever my fear seemed overwhelming.<\/p>\n

Isaiah 55: 12 \u2013 13 says, \u201cThere will be no more sickness or dying, and all that\u2019s sad will come to an end. You\u2019ll hear it then\u2014how the mountains will shout for the everlasting joy being born, the thorns in the thickets will no longer grow, and all the trees in the field will clap their hands.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Even though this world is broken, and I along with it, it is still good. There is beauty here. God is glorified throughout the day. I found Him in the phone calls from friends, the offers of food, the cards, the prayers. Despite how my illness miniaturized my world to my bed, I never had to go hunting for the joy of His ways.<\/p>\n

My apologies to you that I haven\u2019t written since early July, but I also thank you for your grace of letting me heal, of sweet recovery and most of all, of experiencing Jesus as doctor \u2013 the one who heals not only my broken body, but my broken soul. The fallen world is still fallen and we as the Body of Christ cannot stop it. But when we show up, when we shine our shaft of light through the darkness, when we bring the warmth of a greater love, we show the world that wounds can be openings to the Beauty within us.<\/p>\n

Today, I am praying that you will keep showing up, keep looking up, keep courageously letting your life be a spark for God\u2019s glory.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

As Christians, we often talk about the broken world. Since the 4th of July, I\u2019ve personally experienced this when my body broke down. For a few days, I thought I\u2019d caught a common cold until the symptoms were no longer common and eventually drove me to seek medical help. As the doctor patiently explained how […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[3,4,5],"tags":[6,45,11,13,16,48,18,19,23,26,27,36],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/myrawells.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1125"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/myrawells.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/myrawells.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/myrawells.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/myrawells.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1125"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/myrawells.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1125\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1129,"href":"https:\/\/myrawells.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1125\/revisions\/1129"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/myrawells.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1125"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/myrawells.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1125"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/myrawells.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1125"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}